The Spirit of Allah

a musical about Ruhollah Khomeini and the Iranian Revolution

Posted by Jew from Jersey
15 July 2003

Scene13. “I’m a nice guy / A knife without a blade”

Mehdi Bazargan

MB: Boy, I’m sure glad that revolution’s over. What a mess. I almost got a wrinkle in my tweed! [dusts suit.] Now that the Shah’s gone and I’m prime minister, I can really start putting things in order and making this a nice place. For you see... [pause] I’m a nice guy.

[music starts]

• MB: This country’s gonna be so clean and orderly
• Cause I’m a nice guy
• All our laws will be very erudite and scholarly
• Cause I’m a nice guy
• Not a child’s nose will drip, they’ll be no more illiterates
• Cause I’m the prime minister and I’m a nice guy!

• All those machine-gun toting thugs will soon disarm
• Cause I’m a nice guy
• None of the political prisoners will come to any harm
• Cause I’m a nice guy
• All the chaos soon will cease, we’ll have safety, justice and peace
• Cause I’m the prime minister and I’m a nice guy!

[Music picks up. MB gestures and dances as he sings.]

• The people will quiet down and patiently wait
• They know I’m a nice guy
• They know it’s noise and turmoil that I hate
• I’m a nice guy
• Once they see how nice I am, they’ll let me do all that I can
• Never underestimate a well-respected nice guy!

• Khomeini will tone down his rhetoric
• He knows I’m a nice guy
• He’d want his Islamic Republic
• Run by a nice guy
• A word to the wise will suffice, if everyone is nice
• Aren’t you all fortunate that I’m a nice guy!

[Music continues. MB does a dance number. A little girl in a chador presents him with a red apple. He stops to smell a flower and helps a kitten down from a tree. Then a ragged looking man runs across the stage, pursued by a jeep full of armed goons, firing as they drive. The jeep almost runs MB down as it careens across the stage in pursuit of the fugitive. Finally, the fugitive is shot and the jeep exits. The body remains crumpled up on the stage. Explosions are heard. Dust falls from the ceiling. MB looks worried. A crowd of mullahs crosses the stage, arguing loudly, ignoring him. A truck full of laughing, armed civilians drives across the stage and honks loudly. He gets out of the way just in time to avoid being run over. Shooting and more explosions are heard.]

• MB: Like a knife without a blade, a rider on the storm
• I’m supposed to be prime minister, but I feel more like a worm
• Like a knife without a blade, a train without a track
• I keep sending my resignation and Khomeini sends it back

[The sound of pandemonious pounding of feet is heard from offstage. The rising chant becomes audible: One party — Hezbollah, One leader — Ruhollah!]